The holiday season is often hailed as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. However, for many people, this time of year can feel heavy, filled with dread and social anxiety—not exactly a Hallmark card.
We all know at some level that it’s important to connect with loved ones at this time of year, but for individuals with challenging family relationships, those battling social anxiety, or people in treatment or recovery, it can feel much easier to spend the holidays under a rock.
In today’s post, we’ll explore the importance of connecting with loved ones during the holidays, some of the hurdles that may arise, and a handful of powerful strategies to overcome them.
The Significance Of Connection In Recovery
At Sunshine Coast Health Centre, we recognize the importance of connection to personal health, social well-being, and treatment/recovery. Meaningful relationships play a crucial role, offering support, understanding, and a sense of belonging. We also find that recovery often involves rebuilding relationships and that it’s not uncommon for the rebuilding to take place this time of year.
Indeed, the holiday season provides special opportunities. Rebuilding relationships, enjoying shared traditions, quality time together, expressions of love, gratitude—even regret—and an overall festive atmosphere can help bring people together.
The season’s emphasis on light, love, peace, and togetherness provides a special opportunity to strengthen connections with loved ones. As you navigate the holidays, keep in mind that putting in the effort and intention to foster connections can be empowering and help support your journey to recovery.
Reconnecting With Difficult Family Dynamics
“Sorry, did the recipe call for strained tomatoes, or strained relationships?”
For families with strained relationships, the holidays can bring all sorts of tensions and conflicts to the surface. Even in families that are relatively at peace, this time of year can stir up feelings. In fact, many families do their prime arguing and reconciling over the holidays, often with the help of inebriants such as alcohol.
But whatever’s happening at the family level doesn’t have to affect you. And, one tool that will help to protect you from family-level dysfunction is the art and skill of establishing boundaries.
Experiencing Social Anxiety? Establish Boundaries
Everyone’s journey is different, and setting clear boundaries is crucial for honouring yourself and your journey. This is especially true for people who have social anxiety, difficult family dynamics or are living in recovery.
Establishing boundaries starts with self-reflection. Is there anywhere you’re not comfortable going? Anyone you don’t want to see? Activities you’d like to avoid? Think about the why or the why not. Ultimately, the only person that needs to understand these is you. But it is your job to communicate these needs to your family to set realistic expectations for everyone. This could include:
- Limiting the duration of visits
- Choosing neutral locations to meet
- Having a support system in place that has been communicated to others
Having open and honest conversations before gatherings can create a more supportive environment. What’s more, the vulnerability that such conversations take can also support your healing and recovery.
Communication is key for any boundaries and is especially encouraged for folks who have recently completed treatment. Let your loved ones know about your journey, your progress, and any specific support you may need during the holidays. Plan some alcohol-free drinks and activities to enjoy with others, and be sure to attend events that emphasize the joy of connection rather than substance use. And remember, setting boundaries does not make you a bad person!
Quick Tips for Social Anxiety During The Holidays
#1 tip for reducing social anxiety during the holidays: Spend them under a rock!
Jokes! In fact, avoiding social events altogether is counterproductive to reducing social anxiety. While avoidance might feel good in the moment, it can lead to further isolation and prevent you from learning to cope long-term. Instead, try to slowly work your way up the social anxiety exposure ladder. Start with events you know you can handle and slowly aim to increase the type of event you’re comfortable attending.
If large family gatherings activate social anxiety, consider opting for smaller, more intimate gatherings. If you’re anxious you won’t know what to say, plan some activities that allow for meaningful conversations and shared experiences. This can help create a more relaxed and comfortable atmosphere, which everyone will appreciate.
And always remember the power of mindfulness and self-care in managing anxiety. Breathing exercises, meditation, and positive affirmations can be effective tools to ground yourself in the present moment and cope with social situations.
The Importance of Seeking Support
Whether you’re navigating challenging family dynamics, managing social anxiety, or finding your footing in early recovery, having a support system is invaluable. This can include family, friends, or peer groups. If the challenges feel overwhelming, seeking professional help can provide additional support. Therapists, counsellors, and other care professionals can offer coping strategies tailored to your specific situation.
At Sunshine Coast Health Centre and Georgia Strait Women’s Clinic, our approach recognizes the importance of the physical, psychological, social and spiritual aspects of individuals in mental health and addiction treatment. If you or someone you know is struggling with substance use or mental health, give us a call today.
